so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
