Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
