But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
