is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You ate ashes out of my bong
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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