can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Bring me that man meat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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