My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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