is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I want a musical about memes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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