Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
