I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
