erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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