I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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