I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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