So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
