Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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