I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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