I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
