'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
