the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize