I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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