And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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