you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize