Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
