She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
