Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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