i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
