woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
