he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize