Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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