It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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