My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
