hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
