from now on my penis is your penis
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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