This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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