Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
