Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
