Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize