Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
