you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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