the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
