Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize