He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize