Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
