he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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