Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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