soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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