Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
