I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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