I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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