i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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