The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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