Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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