Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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