I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
