so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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