i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
