i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize