Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
