So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
