I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So much rum. So many feels.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
