Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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