Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She needs sedatives and a leash
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
