We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
