somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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