forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
its not stalking. its research.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
